A career woman

I have gotten lost in the daily grind of being a career woman, gotten over consumed by the "next step" in my career and finding my "one true path" to success. For so many years I feel as though I have been preoccupied with chasing this dream career, that I was willing to "be flexible" and "adaptable to change", of myself that is, and it has gotten me nowhere.



But alas, such is the life of a career woman. It is a very lonely walk to take. I work in the built environment. Without delving into too much detail, my industry is a very traditional one. I have worked in 3 continents within this industry and it always proves true to form that my industry is heavily dominated by the middle aged, white male. ANYWHERE I go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even in Africa! So what? I picked this industry, I knew exactly what I was getting into. Or did I? Well, my walk in this career has been a very lonely walk and unfortunately for me, my colleagues do not think as I do. I am all about team work, and learning from each other to create some sort of synergy in our work. But my desires are shared by me, and me alone. So... I am lonely in this field. I have craved to find someone like me, spent countless hours online in search of someone like me. There is no one. And so I count on my Lord to get me through, and make me "ME" such that one day I could be "ME" to help someone else.

What do I mean by saying "ME"? I just want to stay true to myself in my work, I want to be comfortable in my own skin and remain confident. I do not want to conform to other people's expectations, or try to recreate myself so that I FIT into a job. I just want it to suit me as I am and that is how I intend to present myself. Not looking to the left or to the right so that I look like someone else on paper. I have tried it. I have tried adding things into my life in order to shape myself for the purpose of fulfilling some one Else's, or rather some company's, desires. It does not work. Changing myself in the pursuit of the greener grass is not what I want to spend my life doing. I just want to do what I am meant to. No, I am not talking about a calling... yet, just what I am meant to be doing. At the moment, it is right here and right now.