In the first few hours after becoming a mother, I felt ever so strange. That feeling stayed with me for weeks to come. And I felt right from the word go, that I needed to actually get to know my baby. She was a new person in my life, an actual stranger. I had not even thought about it before, that a new person in our home would feel.. well... new.
Before I go on, I just want to say I am truly thankful for my baby. She is a true gift from God. A complete surprise. We were not expecting we would get a baby for quite some time. I may share a bit more on that another time.
But what a change it's been! I salute every mother out there because being a mother is not an easy job. A job indeed. You cannot change this job every couple of years for a more exciting job. You cannot really have a tea break anytime you feel like it. Well, you may stuff up or do a miserable job, but you cannot really be fired. You cannot have a sickie. Is it meaningful? Of course it is! It involves taking care of another life for the rest of your life. But it is very challenging and at times, really hard.
It took me a while to swing into the flow of "feeling" like a natural mum. In fact, I was very surprised at how I reacted to motherhood. I am naturally a very caring and nurturing person. Some would say I was just born to be a mom. There was even a time I went to the mall with my younger sister and I was asked if she was my daughter!!!!!!!! Don't get the wrong idea, we are only 2 years apart and look the same age, but there is something about how I carry myself that is just very motherly.
When I had my baby, I did not feel motherly at all. I was actually surprised and a little disappointed in myself about my reaction. I felt strange, I felt stuck, I was overwhelmed and that I was just not as capable as I thought. About 2 weeks after my baby was born, I swore I would never have another baby. Is this well and truly how I want things to be?
Only time will tell.
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